Staying in an abusive relationship can be tragic. You experience one form of abuse and another. People in abusive relationships find it difficult to leave their abusive partner. Staying in a relationship for wrong reasons is what makes it difficult for such people to quite that relationship. There are so many reasons people stay in abusive relationships. Some of the wrong reasons for being in a relationship are discussed below.
Reasons For Staying in an Abusive Relationship
Sex is an important part of a healthy relationship. Lack of sexual satisfaction, physical and emotional intimacy are the major causes of infidelity in relationships and marriages. Anyone staying in an abusive relationship and getting sexual satisfaction may find it difficult to walk out of that relationship. They can only leave if they are sure of getting another partner who can satisfy their sexual need.
Good Looks And Physical Appearance
Good looks is another trap that can keep someone staying in an abusive relationship longer than necessary. Compliments from friends and people around on the physical appearance and looks of their partner makes them feel on top of the world. Good looks can be very deceitful. They tend to over look other essential things needed for a healthy relationship. It is okay to have a good looking partner. However, one should also focus on the qualities they want in their partner.
Mostly single ladies and guys fall into this category of people staying in an abusive relationship. This usually occurs when you move to a new environment. The change of environment can be due to a new job, studies or disaster. You find your self away from your friends, colleagues and the love of your life. You feel lonely and needing someone to feel that vacuum. You start looking for a guy or girl to spend your free time with. You just fall into the arms of anybody that comes your way. Caring less about who or what they are. All you care is for that loneliness to be remove from you. This is not a good reason to stay in a relationship. This is because by the time you realize that you are in a wrong relationship, they may have eaten deep into you. You find it not too easy to quite the relationship.
When you get to a certain age, members of your family start pressuring you to get married. This is one of the old long reasons for staying in an abusive relationship admitted by people in abusive relationships. In Africa, mothers start getting worried if their daughter get to the age of 30 years and above, haven’t brought a man home as their husband. This is not in anyway one of the good reasons to stay in a relationship. You are just getting married for wrong reasons. You take all sorts of abuses just to satisfy someone else.
Fear of A Breakup
Fear of a breakup can keep people staying in abusive relationships. People who recently suffered a breakup are most likely to fall into this trap. They tend to look for
- A shoulder to cry on
- Someone to fill the vacuum left by their ex
- Someone to share and help relieve the pain of a breakup
- Someone to help them get over their ex fast
- Someone to make them feel loved
If they meet another person who also recently passed through a breakup. They seem to have found their perfect match. They tend to understand each others feelings and pains. You are staying in a relationship for wrong reasons if your relationship has its base on this. Reasons being that you are just running away from the pain of your breakup.
To Keep Friendship
Again single guys and ladies are mostly the ones who keep staying in an abusive relationship for this reason. When you see your friends go out in pairs as God made it in the beginning, you feel left out. You feel you are missing out in the game of love. You will be wondering why you should be without a partner. You easily fall in love with any available girl or guy within your group of friends just to belong. Why should you stay in a relationship that is abusive because of friends? Your friends keep settling fights between both of you all the time. You get abused physically and emotionally all the time. This happens because friends are the motivation behind your relationship.
Means of Escape
There are two main categories of people who prefer staying in an abusive relationship as a means of escape. They are
- People in a long distance relationship
- Victims of bad parenting
When they feel lonely or in need of physical intimacy, people in a long distance relationship hookup with anybody available just to get satisfied. Regardless of how they are being treated by the person. They stick to the relationship.
In the case of victims of bad parenting, they prefer the company of their abusive partner to going home to meet their parents. They see the relationship as a means of escape from troubles at home.
Financial benefits enjoyed by someone from their relationship can keep them staying in an abusive relationship. People who cannot provide their basic needs due to lack of finance are likely to remain in an abusive relationship. Ladies are mostly the victims of this. Especially if they cannot get financial support from their family. Men and women from poor families also fall victim of this wrong reason for being in a relationship. People who are socially very active can fall victims of abusive relationships due to financial reasons. They stick to anybody who can financially meet their social needs. The danger here is that the relationship ends whenever the financial benefits are no longer coming.
This is one of the unbelievable reasons for staying in an abusive relationship. If you have real love for someone, you don’t attach any gain to it. You genuinely care for their happiness without expecting anything in return. You don’t mind if your love and care is reciprocated. You tend to separate the person from the behaviour. Remember that your life and safety come first. No matter how deep your love is for your partner. You can only express love if you are alive. You should not stay in that relationship if you are not getting what you want out of it.
If you have been wondering why do people stay in abusive relationships, these are a few reasons. Distrust and believing that abuse is normal in a relationship can also cause people to keep staying in an abusive relationship.
However, there are no genuine reasons for staying in an abusive relationship. No matter how deeply in love you are with someone, why stay in an abusive relationship when you deserve better? If you are staying in a relationship for the wrong reasons quite now. A broken courtship is better than a broken marriage.
If you have been through an abusive relationship and you don’t find the reasons you went into the relationship in this article, feel free to add them using the comment box.